At MakeLoveNotPorn, our mission is to make it safe, socially acceptable and empowering for anyone – especially women – to talk about and share their #realworldsex.

So when, six months ago in August of last year, reporter Rebecca Hiscott who had asked to write a story about us and was interviewing some of our MakeLoveNotPornstars, informed us of the situation outlined in her just-published Mashable piece, we acted immediately.

This is precisely the scenario we have worked very hard to prevent happening.

It took years to concept MakeLoveNotPorn.tv because we considered every possible implication of what we planned for our members and our MakeLoveNotPornstars, and executed accordingly.

The couple Rebecca cites submitted their videos via our rigorous video submissions process that ensures every participant in every video on our site is of legal age and has given full consent. MadamCurator Sarah Beall engaged with them personally throughout their relationship with us – we make sure we talk to both halves of a couple.  Our curation is human: we watched every single video they submitted to make sure it was publishable based on our criteria of fully consensual, celebratory #realworldsex. We ask our MakeLoveNotPornstars to contextualize their #realworldsex by providing ‘sneak peek’ intros for each video published; in this case the two of them reminisced together about each #realworldsex occasion as joint voiceovers on all of their intro videos.

We value our MakeLoveNotPornstars enormously, and so we set out to build personal relationships with each half of the couple, as we do from the moment anyone first approaches us about contributing or submits their first video. We focused on building a sense of community for them, and invited them to meet with us in person at one of the regular IRL gatherings we hold for our MakeLoveNotPornstars so that we can all get to know each other.

And so it came as a horrible surprise to us that things were not as whole-hearted and as fully consensual as they had appeared.

As Rebecca says, we acted immediately.

Our site is members-only, and we deliberately stream rental videos instead of offering downloads. #realworldsex = #realworldrelationships = #realworldshithappens, and our commitment to you is that the minute your relationship/mind/life/circumstances changes, we take your videos down immediately.

We take domestic abuse extremely seriously; a number of us have known people in these sorts of relationships, and we know how insidious abuse can be and how hard it can be to get out of. Sarah immediately spoke at length with the woman in this couple, and we discussed as a team how to remove the videos in a way that would not cause any additional difficulty for her; we agreed our approach with her, and moved swiftly.

Our entire mission with MakeLoveNotPorn boils down to one thing: talk about it.

Talk about sex in the real world openly, honestly and truthfully, whether it be in the public domain or in private with your intimate partners.

The appalling situation Rebecca outlines is something we all need to talk more about. We welcome this dialogue. We ask our community to discuss and share their views and feedback, as we do here regarding the difference between porn and #realworldsex, and so we also welcome any additional ideas anyone may have on how we can supplement our already rigorous, hi-touch, human curation and MakeLoveNotPornstar relationship-building process.

Law professor Mary Ann Franks is quoted in the Mashable article saying, “The problem is that a good thing can’t exist for more than two seconds before someone comes along and makes it a horrible thing.”

We’re not going to let that happen.

Rebecca writes, “Creating a sex-sharing site without the exploitation and abusive language of mainstream pornography is noble, and much needed, but perhaps it simply isn’t possible.”

One of the many social agendas we have for MakeLoveNotPorn is tackling the ‘abusive language of mainstream pornography’, which is why we are deliberately creating a new vocabulary for #realworldsex.

And we are determined to prove it is possible to ‘create a sex-sharing site without exploitation.’ We welcome your help, ideas and input alongside our own for achieving what we hope you agree is a difficult but very necessary goal.

Written by Christine Whelan for xoJane. Originally published Jan 9, 2014.

Written by Ben Cosgrove  for LIFE.com. Pictures by John Dominis, originally published in LIFE magazine in 1963.

Our Montreal-based Madam Curator, Sarah, is looking for a Montreal-based intern to assist with the daily tasks associated with curating and promoting #realworldsex through MakeLovenNotPorn.tv and MakeLoveNotPorn.com. The ideal candidate is someone highly self-motivated with great communication and organizational skills and a passion for spreading the MakeLoveNotPorn message. Working both independently and alongside Madam Curator, this internship offers the right candidate the opportunity to contribute to something they feel passionate about while developing the skills and experience needed to stand out from the crowd.

Due to the reality that MLNP.tv is a bootstrapping, underfunded start-up, this internship is (regrettably) unpaid. However, please know that we appreciate our interns immensely and would pay them if we could.

Responsibilities

• Managing and filtering submissions in various ways

• Monitoring and posting on blogs, forums, and social networks

• Online outreach and promotion using Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, Facebook and more

• Various community management tasks including monitoring and responding to comments on MLNP.com and responding to user issues via email

• Monitoring site traffic and filing reports

• Outreach and promotion IRL at events, etc.

Requirements

• Must be Montreal-based

• Must meet or exceed expectations regarding self-motivation, organization and communication

• Must demonstrate passion and familiarity with MLNP.tv and its mission

• Must have at least some familiarity with Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, Facebook and WordPress

Interested candidates: please send an email outlining relevant experience and skills and explaining why you want to be Madam Curator’s Montreal-based intern to Sarah@makelovenotporn.tv with the subject line: Awesome Accomplice.

Deadline for applications: March 3rd, 2014.

This project validates both my activist work and sexual self.

A PSA from Ms. Naughty and BrightDesire.com.

“An illustration of how straight porn often caters to an assumed male audience. With commentary by Doge and bonus sound effects.

Published on YouTube by TheYoungTurks on March 24, 2014

As often-discussed and written about by MLNP.tv CEO Cindy Gallop, financial institutions and payment processors rarely want anything to do with online content that could be categorized as “adult.” And, companies that produce (or curate) explicit sexual media aren’t the only ones banks are resistant to doing business with, as demonstrated when Lovability Condoms were denied service by Chase Paymentech – the credit card processing arm of behemoth JP Morgan Chase – because their condoms marketed to women were considered an “adult-oriented product.”

A statement from Chase to company founder Tiffany Gaines suggested that doing business with companies like Lovability is ”a prohibited vertical,” and cited a potential “reputational risk” to work with them.

The Huffington Post reports that Chase have decided to reverse their decision following several days of bad publicity surrounding the story. Kudos to the Young Turks and other outlets for applying appropriate pressure and exposing the rampant hypocrisy in the financial sector regarding anything related to sex.

By Kirstin Rohwer. Originally published on April 28th, 2014.

Here at MLNP.tv we truly believe that you can have any kind of relationship model that feels right to you. We support all kinds of love and relationships and would love to hear about your #realworld love(s)! Click the image to enlarge, so you’re sure to check out the whole thing :)

Watch Cindy Gallop speak about Make Love Not Porn and changing the world through sex at the Creative Mornings conference!

You can read all about Cindy in a biography here!

Written by Door Anke for overgangstergirls. Originally published June 16th, 2014. 

Cindy Gallop dook al eerder op onze site op. Ze was een hotemetoot in de reclamewereld tot ze voor zichzelf begon en de websites If we ran the world en Make love not porn opzette. Gallop is een intrigerende vrouw die het tegendeel van preuts is, ze begon MLNP juist omdat ze –als vrouw van in de 50 – altijd jongere vriendjes had die hun sekseducatie via porno hadden opgedaan en er soms wel erg onrealistische ideeën op nahielden.

Daarom zet MLNP fabeltjes uit de porno tegenover het echte leven. Zoals: in porno zijn –vanwege een onbelemmerd camerashot – de genitaliën vaak de enige lichaamsdelen die elkaar raken. In het echte leven maakt de sensatie van naakte huid tegen huid seks des te lekkerder. En: in porno maak je een vrouw nat door te spugen, wat in het echt niet zozeer gewaardeerd wordt, zo’n fluim op je pruim.

De site is onlangs uitgebreid tot platform en nodigt mensen uit hun eigen real-life lovemaking videos te uploaden. Zo hoopt Cindy te kunnen laten zien hoe echte seks  er uit ziet. In onderstaand interview vertelt ze over seks, daten met jongere mannen, succes, style, en wat haar motiveerde haar eigen startup op te zetten.

Read the whole article here! 

MLNP Star Danny Wylde recently wrote this thought-provoking piece for Nerve and we highly recommend it as a must-read. 

Written by Christopher Zeischegg (aka Danny Wylde) for Nerve. Originally published on July 18th, 2014.

“I’ve been working in porn for eight years, and for eight years, I’ve been defending it. First, it was from friends and family. Maybe I didn’t care about the industry itself, but I defended myself as a part of it. I didn’t want those closest to me to believe I was a fuck-up while I was fucking for a living.

In most ways, I wasn’t. I used porn to help pay my way through college, and I stuck with it long enough to earn myself a legitimate career.

Porn became important to me over time. I involved myself in the politics, befriended my colleagues, and became entrenched in the feedback loop that made me feel like I was doing something with my life. Porn gave me a sense of purpose. So I defended it some more.

I stood up for our productions, our health practices, and our rights as performers to use our bodies to make a living.

Then, one day, I was forced out of it. Well, at least the fucking part. My frequent use of performance-enhancing, erectile dysfunction drugs landed me in the hospital. A doctor’s orders meant that I could never have sex — professionally — again. It wasn’t the end of the world, but my career was over. Just like that.

My change in circumstances required a re-evaluation of what I stood for, and why. There was no way I could turn my back on the industry. However, I’d witnessed a deterioration in the rewards of my career at a time when the risks seemed greater than ever before. My experience gave me the utmost respect for those who braved the life of a performer. But I could no longer be a steadfast advocate for much of XXX industry practice.”

Read the rest of Danny’s piece here.

Check out Danny’s other posts on this blog here.

Watch Danny’s #realworldsex videos with girlfriend, Asphyxia Noir, here.

Watch Danny’s #realworldsex videos with former girlfriend, Lily Labeau, here.

Written by Slutever’s Karley Sciortino for Vogue.  Originally published July 2014.

Why Are Straight Men So Bad at Oral Sex?

“I once dated a guy who refused to go down on me. “I just don’t like the way it tastes,” was his excuse. As if his dick tasted like an ice cream cone. I joke about it now, but at the time I didn’t find it very funny. My boyfriend’s aversion to oral sex made me newly insecure about that part of my body, and the few times I did convince him to go down on me, I was too in my own head to enjoy it, constantly worrying that he was grossed out or just doing it out of obligation. Friends I confided in at the time suggested I stop giving him blow jobs, to give him a taste of his own medicine. But since I enjoy giving pleasure, no BJs felt like double the punishment.

I realize that I’m being, shall we say, candid. But I find that it’s next to impossible to talk about sex without getting specific. And how else does one get what one wants out of sex than by talking about it? So I’ll go first: I don’t understand why so many men act like, by giving head, they’re doing you a favor. I half expect them to say “You’re welcome” afterward. I recently met a guy who, while flirting with me at a party, said, “Just so you know, I’m the kind of guy who cares about making a girl cum.” He then stared at me in anticipation, as if waiting for me to faint, or for celebratory balloons to fall from the ceiling. Not to mention that when you meet the rare guy who’s up for going down, he’s often remarkably bad at it. All that spitting and sucking and vagina slapping: What is going on there? To my knowledge, I don’t have an abnormally sensitive vagina, but if someone slaps it, or slurps at it like it’s a trough, any subsequent screaming will be out of pain, not pleasure. Oral sex isn’t rocket science, so why, if you’re a straight girl, is head so often either terrible or nonexistent?

It’s now widely discussed that, due to a lack of sex ed in school, young people are learning about sex from porn. Heterosexual porn scenes usually go something like this: Girl gets naked; girl shows off her body for a while; girl gives guy a blow job; girl and guy have intercourse; the end. Rarely in this scenario does the guy reciprocate oral sex. Well, porn imitates life imitates porn, as they say. Which means that, often, real-life sex doesn’t include head for the woman, either. Of course, there are exceptions. Some guys are very generous and adept in the oral department, and some porn does emphasize pleasure for the woman. But the fact is, almost all mainstream porn is made by men, for men, and it shows—the aim of the scenes is always to get the man off. As a result, in the real world, many girls and guys think that the aim of sex is to get the man off. And honestly, many of my hook-ups with men have felt driven by that singular goal. As someone who also sleeps with women, I feel I have a good counterpoint. My female partners have been unanimously more giving and considerate, and certainly more likely to give me head.

Cindy Gallop, the woman behind Make Love Not Porn, says she’s “pro-porn, pro-sex, and pro knowing the difference.” I completely agree with her. Don’t get me wrong: I love porn and watch it often—probably too often—but I also know that it’s artificial entertainment. Porn is great for many things, but learning how to genuinely please a woman is not one of them.”

Read the rest of Karley’s take on why (some) straight men suck at oral sex here! 

Read about Madam Curator’s personal experience with this phenomenon here!

As many of you know, sadly, we continue to be plagued by the streaming issues that meant we had to take the site down for a while back in May, and which have continued inconsistently since we brought it back up in June.

The last thing we want to deliver: frustration

The inconsistency is why these issues have proven so tricky to solve. We’ve been hearing from you, and encountering ourselves, a wide range of odd streaming behavior. Some members have no problems at all watching free peeks and videos; some can watch free peeks but have issues with videos; some have trouble streaming one MakeLoveNotPornstar’s video but no problem with another from the same MLNPstar.  Some members report that playing in Safari or Internet Explorer works (odd since historically we’ve performed better in Chrome and Firefox) – others have the opposite experience. Sometimes just clicking repeatedly on the video makes it play eventually. But all of this adds up to a highly aggravating user experience, and not in any way the smooth, painless, friction-free, pleasurable streaming experience we want you all to have!

As our longstanding members know, because we are tiny, bootstrapping and fighting a battle to build this business, as Fast Company reported and the Daily Beast covered we don’t have the kind of resources bigger companies are able to throw at technical problems, so it does take us longer.

Relief is in sight!

We do however have some good news. We have brought additional resource on to fix this once and for all, and while we know we’ve been saying this for some time, we do now anticipate that within the next few weeks we will finally have this fixed.  Rest assured we will be emailing all of you the very minute it is, and asking you to rent and stream your hearts out!

We also can’t wait to get it fixed, because then we can get on with building the other things we want to deliver for you – the monthly subscription model a lot of you have been asking for and we are very keen to implement, the ability to view on Android phones and tablets not just iPhones and iPads, the ability to bookmark videos and store all rentals and bookmarks in what we call your Happy Place, and a host of features that are yet to come.

But the point of this post is especially to do two things:

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU OUR WONDERFUL COMMUNITY

As a tiny bootstrapping startup, MLNP customer service consists of me, MadamCurator Sarah Beall  and intern Ariel Martinez. We die inside every time we hear from any one of you about the streaming problems you’re encountering, we race to respond as quickly as we can, and we are, quite frankly, virtually brought to tears by the lovely, lovely things you say to us when we do – cheering us on, telling us how much you love the idea of MLNP and to keep the faith, saying you’re happy to wait for us to solve our problems. Your belief in us is what keeps us going, and every day we are so grateful to have such a very special community that believes, like us, that you can change the world through creating more healthy openness around #realworldsex.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU OUR WONDERFUL MAKELOVENOTPORNSTARS

We treasure all of you who share your fabulousmessywonderfulridiculousbeautifulfunnygloriouscrazyhuman #realworldsex with us, and are bearing with us through all of this – particularly as we have a huge stockpile of new videos building up from current and new MakeLoveNotPornstars that we are not able to publish while our streaming issues continue.  We will be releasing them as soon as we possibly can!

Thank you to our kind volunteer developers

We have been so touched, while struggling with these technical issues, to find that many of our community are developers, who have reached out kindly offering volunteer help. We would have loved to have been able to take advantage of this, but because of our limited resources we have not been operating a programming environment that would make it easy to bring volunteers in. The work we are now doing means that in the future, we will be able to take advantage of those very kind offers more easily  – we’ve logged everyone who offered, and we will be calling on you some time further down the line at the right juncture!

Thank you to those of you who believe in us enough to want to invest

Because we want you to have the best possible experience going forwards, we are in the process of raising a round of funding to enable us to build out MLNP to realize our complete vision (what you see currently is only halfway there).  Open-minded investors for a venture like ours take quite a lot of finding, as you can probably imagine, but I’m happy to say we are finding them and in a dialogue with a number of interested parties.

We are enormously touched by the fact that a number of you have written to ask if we are in a position to take small investors. While our funding dialogues are playing out (and are likely to be for some time – this is not a quick process) we aren’t in a situation to confirm this right now, but we would like nothing more than to have our own members participate.

Please email cindy@makelovenotporn.com and let me know the level you would like to invest at, and we will keep you posted on how this plays out.

We are so grateful

We’re playing the long game here, and we’re so thankful all of you are here to play it with us too. As the Apple ad says, ‘The people crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.’

Cindy, Corey, Oonie, Sarah

Written by Priscilla Frank for Huffington Post.  Originally published August 21st, 2014.

Wyatt Neumann is a photographer and a father. In 2014 he took his two-year-old daughter Stella on a cross-country road trip, photographing their journey along the way. Neumann captured sunsets and cornfields and, of course, Stella, often donning one of most two-year-old girls’ two favorite ensembles: a princess dress and nothing at all.

In the middle of the trip, what the Safari Gallery describes as “a hyper puritanical, neo-conservative group” launched a cyber-attack on Neumann’s images, specifically those of Stella. Calling the images “perverse,” “sick” and “pornographic,” members of the group attempted to remove all traces of them from the web. They successfully prompted Facebook and Instagram to shut down his accounts, and they criticized his artist website as well. While Neumann claims he was open to others expressing their opinions about his work, the “forced censorship” went too far.

“The anonymous public made their opinions about my work,” he explained in an interview with The Huffington Post. “It was the actions they took against me, the reality for me was that these people could actually affect my ability to express myself. They took down my Instagram and Facebook; those are huge digital platforms for a photographer. It had a physical effect on my ability to communicate with people. The fact that they had that ability to control my experience in this life made me want to fight back. I really believe that the work is beautiful and [reveals] the innocence of childhood.”

Neumann was determined, somehow, to turn all the hate directed his way into something beautiful. Rather than ignoring the criticism lodged against him, he created a new series in which he juxtaposed the hateful comments with the corresponding images he maintained were innocent. What he created was a photography show that presents both sides of the moral debate, allowing each visitor to interpret the images individually.

The title of the subsequent exhibition, “I FEEL SORRY FOR YOUR CHILDREN –- The Sexualization of Innocence in America,” was in part inspired by an online comment attached to one of Neumann’s works that read: “The whole thing is sickening and I FEEL SORRY FOR YOUR CHILDREN.” The exhibition examines the attacks launched against his photographs as well as what he sees as a segment of contemporary culture, thriving off shame and censorship, that incited such attacks.

Read more about Neumann’as exhibit, and how he’s combatting the sexualization of childhood in his own unique and beautiful work here! 

This past July I had the absolute pleasure of traveling to Houston for their annual queer film festival, Qfest, where along with board president, Kristian Salinas, I helped curate a special screening of erotic works including some of MLNP.tv’s very own #realworldsex videos.  The screening was called Sweetest Taboos, and was preceded by a panel discussion on porn, #realworldsex and the differences/connections between the two, featuring myself, MLNPstar Dale Cooper, Houston-based, intersex-bodied interdisciplinary grassroots artist, Koomah, and performance artist, Dudley Saunders.

This was the first time any of MLNP.tv’s #realworldsex videos and intro videos had been screened in a public forum and I’m happy to report it was a huge success. Thanks to the generosity and bravery of MLNPstars WeMegiddoStyle, Violet+Rye, NikkiHearts, Parrott99 and ThisIsOurHandle, I was able to not just talk about MLNP.tv and it’s mission, but also give examples of what we mean by contextualized #realworldsex, in real-time.

I hope to share a video of the Sweetest Taboos panel with our community soon, but for now I can say that the discussion was delightful and really helped remind me of the importance of not just interacting with our members and MLNPstars online but also in person. I’ve always enjoyed connecting with others and their ideas face-to-face, and as we continue to expand the space we’ve created for #realworldsex online, I hope to compliment that with more meet-ups, more discussions and screenings, and yes, some sweaty dance parties!

Huge thanks to the crew at Qfest for making Sweetest Taboos happen and for showing Dale and I an amazing time in Houston. I really can’t recommend this festival highly enough – the (all volunteer) staff are fabulous, the films were great, and the focus on building community, bridging divides and recognizing local, grassroots activism was, and is, refreshing.

Qfest was a great opportunity to make MLNP.tv’s desire to showcase #realworldsex from queer contributors known within the context of a queer event and I hope this is only the beginning of that kind of in-person outreach and discussion.

Below are some personal photos from what basically turned out to be a super intellectually stimulating, and in-all-ways titilating, queer summer camp. After spending five days with these talented artists, filmmakers and organizers, it was pretty hard to go home again. I really hope they’ll have me back next year!

Would you be interested in hosting a panel and screening like Sweetest Taboos at your college/university/gallery/event? Do let us know by emailing sarah@makelovenotporn.tv.

Happen to be in Montreal? Join Madam Curator and queer artist Ignacio Rivera, aka. Papi Coxxx, for a discussion of feminist porn, curating #realworldsex, and identity on September 29th at 6 pm.

Our Montreal-based Madam Curator, Sarah, is looking for a Montreal-based intern to assist with the daily tasks associated with curating and promoting #realworldsex through MakeLovenNotPorn.tv and MakeLoveNotPorn.com. The ideal candidate is someone highly self-motivated with great communication and organizational skills and a passion for spreading the MakeLoveNotPorn message. Working both independently and alongside Madam Curator and current Montreal-based intern, Alexandra, this internship offers the right candidate the opportunity to contribute to something they feel passionate about while developing the skills and experience needed to stand out from the crowd.

Due to the reality that MLNP.tv is a bootstrapping, underfunded start-up, this internship is (regrettably) unpaid. However, please know that we appreciate our interns immensely and would pay them if we could. Additionally, as the forward-thinking venture that we are, we’re always looking for the right people to add to our team when the time, and more importantly – funding – comes.

The right candidate is someone who will dazzle us so much with their commitment and skill that we’ll have no choice but to hire them down the line!

Responsibilities

• Managing and filtering submissions in various ways

• Monitoring and posting on blogs, forums, and social networks

• Spearheading weekly email campaigns

• Online outreach and promotion using Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, Facebook and more

• Various community management tasks including monitoring and responding to comments on MLNP.com and responding to user issues via email

• Monitoring site traffic and filing reports

• Outreach and promotion IRL at events, etc.

Requirements

• Must be Montreal-based

• Must meet or exceed expectations regarding self-motivation, organization and communication

• Must demonstrate passion and familiarity with MLNP.tv and its mission

• Must have at least some familiarity with Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, Facebook and WordPress

• Must be available 5-10 hrs/week and be comfortable working within a deadline-oriented context

Assets

• Some experience and/or a strong interest in email and social media marketing

Interested candidates: please send an email outlining relevant experience and skills and explaining why you want to be Madam Curator’s Montreal-based intern to Sarah@makelovenotporn.tv.

Deadline for applications: November 3, 2014.

Our Montreal-based Madam Curator, Sarah, is looking for an NYC-based intern to assist with the daily tasks associated with curating and promoting #realworldsex through MakeLovenNotPorn.tv and MakeLoveNotPorn.com. The ideal candidate is someone highly self-motivated with great communication and organizational skills and a passion for spreading the MakeLoveNotPorn message. Working remotely and independently the majority of the time, with occasional one-on-one time with Madam Curator, this internship offers the right candidate the opportunity to contribute to something they feel passionate about while developing the skills and experience needed to stand out from the crowd.

Due to the reality that MLNP.tv is a bootstrapping, underfunded start-up, this internship is (regrettably) unpaid. However, please know that we appreciate our interns immensely and would pay them if we could. Additionally, as the forward-thinking venture that we are, we’re always looking for the right people to add to our team when the time, and more importantly – funding – comes.

The right candidate is someone who will dazzle us so much with their commitment and skill that we’ll have no choice but to hire them down the line!

Responsibilities

• Managing and filtering submissions in various ways

• Monitoring and posting on blogs, forums, and social networks

• Spearheading weekly email campaigns

• Online outreach and promotion using Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, Facebook and more

• Various community management tasks including monitoring and responding to comments on MLNP.com and responding to user issues via email

• Monitoring site traffic and filing reports

• Outreach and promotion IRL at events, etc.

Requirements

• Must be NYC-based

• Must meet or exceed expectations regarding self-motivation, organization and communication

• Must demonstrate passion and familiarity with MLNP.tv and its mission

• Must have at least some familiarity with Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, Facebook and WordPress

• Must be available 5-10 hrs/week and be comfortable working within a deadline-oriented context

Assets

• Some experience and/or a strong interest in email and social media marketing

Interested candidates: please send an email outlining relevant experience and skills and explaining why you want to be Madam Curator’s NYC-based intern to Sarah@makelovenotporn.tv.

Deadline for applications: October 1, 2014.

Ready to make your MLNPstar debut? Serious about sharing your #realworldsex but have some questions?

On Saturday, October 4th from 5- 7 pm, join MLNP.tv CEO Cindy Gallop and Madam Curator, Sarah Beall, for an intimate evening at the black apartment where we’ll answer your queries, soothe your nerves and introduce you to our VIP’s – a.k.a. our current MLNPstars!

Secretly longing to share your #realworldsex on MLNP.tv but can’t quite bring yourself to? Have a #realworldsex video you want to post but haven’t gotten up the nerve to hit ‘submit’? You’re keen, your partner isn’t – or vice versa? Worried about how you look? We celebrate #realworldbodies – so don’t be shy, be proud!

We welcome attendance from anyone and everyone interested in sharing their #realworldsex – couples, singles, or whatever your particular arrangement may be. Come with your partner or alone, or bring a friend who’s also interested.

Help us represent as many identities, communities and possibilities as we can! While MLNP.tv currently isn’t as diverse as we’d like it to be – we’re serious about changing that. In particular, we welcome people of color, other marginalized folks, and those who identify under the LGBTQ umbrella to attend.

This exclusive event, meant only for the most serious of aspiring-MLNPstars, is by invitation only. If you’re interested in attending, please send an email to Sarah@makelovenotporn.tv. Tell us a little about yourself and why you’d like to share a #realworldsex video on MLNP.tv, and you could be selected to attend this special soiree.

A passion for our mission and a strong desire to make your MLNP.tv debut are musts, as is being in NYC on the night of the event. And, finally, it goes without saying that you should be familiar with what we mean by #realworldsex and what we look for when we curate.

We look forward to hearing from you and can’t wait to meet those selected at the black apartment on October 4, 2014 from 5-7 pm!

Written by Maureen O’Connor for New York Magazine.  Originally published September 16th, 2014.

“A few months ago, a friend told a juicy story about another friend’s hookup with a male pop star. “She said she was on her period, and he said he was into it. Like, it’s his thing.” The story involved period blood all over the musician’s face and the menstrual version of a shit-eating grin. “Ewwww,” I squealed in titillated terror as my friend added, “But that’s a thing, right? Guys who are into periods?” Not just okay with sex during menstruation, but actively seeking and looking forward to it.

At the time, I was skeptical. But after quizzing friends, strangers, and a few experts on the subject, I can now confirm that “into periods” is most definitely “a thing,” for men and women both. Some reasons are physical and hormonal; others practical; and many more are tied to erotic associations and pride in reveling in the uncensored female body. In men, such pride is a modern sort of machismo, one defined by hardcore connoisseurship — much like a chest-thumping dude-foodie who develops a taste for offal. Menstruation is, well, gross. It can irreparably damage your upholstery. It is made of a substance that causes people to faint on sight. Thus, menstrual sex is an advanced maneuver, available only to men and women with seasoned sexual palates and hangup-free psyches. As Louis C.K. put it in his famed mockery of menses-averse young men, “Fuck her in the period hole, you idiot, what’s the dilemma? I don’t give a shit, if you’re having your period, come on over. I’m 41, I’ll fuck the shit out of you, I’ll drink the blood, let’s party.”

My friend Daniela echoed this sentiment. “A real man goes down on you on your period. And loves it,” she wrote in an email. Sexual naifs fear encounters; those with experience cannot be fazed. “And you love it, too. The vag is much more sensitive when you’re menstruating,” Daniela continued.”

Read more about the #realworldsex of ‘Blood Hounds’ here!  We love this article because, well… when was the last time you saw period sex in a porno? Exactly. Got a #bloodhound of your own? We’d love to hear about y’all! Want to show us what your #realworldperiodsex looks like? Even better! Submit your bloody hot video and become a #MLNPStar

Guest post by MLNP.tv member, Mary Tam. 

I’m a 35 year-old straight woman who started watching porn with a boyfriend in my 20’s. I had a number of complaints. I didn’t like that people would either start out naked, or be naked in the time it took me to get a glass of water. I didn’t like that the girl would generally give head for 20 minutes, and the guy would go down on her for 20 seconds (if she was lucky). I didn’t like the ridiculous faces and forced groans, the absence of genuine pleasure, the one-rhythm-fits-all pounding.

Mass-produced pornography serves as an informal education system, teaching viewers (often from a very young age) that hot sex should include spanking a girl from behind as you work up to anal, and – as Cindy Gallop pointed out in her 2009 TEDTalk – culminate by cumming on her face. There’s nothing inherently wrong with spanking, anal, or cumming on someone’s face, as long as it’s mutually consensual. But when you repeatedly put a homogenous formula out there, and it becomes the only or most accessible product, it creates a limited and somewhat dysfunctional understanding and expectation of sex.

I wanted to see if other people in my general community shared my frustrations and concerns. So I circulated a survey that contained questions about people’s experience with video pornography as well as questions about their personal sexual preferences.

Of the 159 respondents, 80% first viewed pornography before they graduated from high school, and nearly a quarter of respondents before they had even hit puberty.  The survey produced a mixture of expected and surprising results. But one thing that was clear was that I wasn’t alone in my frustrations.

Over the years I had contemplated a number of ways to address this concern. I didn’t end up producing my own porn. I never got around to writing a clever book. I still dream of launching a theater project. But I did make a video. I wanted it to be inclusive, dialogue-provoking, and digestible for those who might shy away from a video about sex.

Operation Better Sex is a short, animated video that calls attention to the disconnect between how sex is presented in our culture, and what pleasurable sex really is. It is an acknowledgment of the vast spectrum of what “pleasurable” means to different people. It suggests that we “feel” rather than “act” during sex. And that we learn to communicate our desires to our partners, at least until our mental telepathy skills evolve further.

When I first started watching porn, it was before the sex-positive movement had gathered momentum…or at least before I was aware of it. Today, there is more and more amateur porn being created, which tends to have more foreplay, reciprocation, and sensuality. There are also several sites one can go to in order to find adult films that reflect real sex, such as MakeLoveNotPorn.tv. Alternatively, there are free hubs that allow users to search different genres of porn. Of course, even when you plug in words like passion, sensual, or porn for women, within the first page of search results you’ll often see clips titled something like, “teenage slut gets gangbanged”. Noooooooope, not what I’m looking for. And this blog is not long enough to get started on that subject.

Luckily, the sex-positive movement is stronger than it’s ever been. Stores like GoodVibes promote sexual health, pleasure, and empowerment in a nonthreatening environment. “Sexperts” like Cindy Gallop, Dr. Ruth, Dan Savage, Marty Klein, and Violet Blue have brought light to a multitude of sex-related topics and conversations. Isabella Rossellini put together a video series called Green Porno, that highlights various animals’ reproductive behaviors. There are more and more individuals, organizations, and businesses working to change the way sex is presented, understood, and had in our society.

This is where we come in. A movement is not a movement with out the masses. So join it…start a conversation. Watch a video. Share a sex-positive website with a friend or lover. Don’t let mass-produced pornography highjack sex only to place it in a wasteland of contrived behavior. Take back the sex. Be a paratrooper for the sexual revolution!

Follow Mary Tam on twitter.

Read more feedback and insights from our members in our #realworldinbox.