Dearest MakeLoveNotPorn community and MakeLoveNotPornstars,

You have been unbelievably patient and supportive through our prolonged and incredibly painful technical issues, and we are so pleased to be able to tell you that, while we are not yet out of the woods, there is finally, finally, light at the end of the tunnel – and other mixed metaphors.

For the past three months, our dedicated developer Lar van der Jagt has been slaving away building a whole new streaming service to eradicate these issues once and for all.

We completed this last week and published our first edition to the new service, celebrating our fabulous MakeLoveNotPornstars AllenandtheJean.

So now – normal service is gradually being resumed!

We temporarily halted our weekly new edition/email while we were building the new service, because we didn’t want to send you to videos you would encounter problems with.

We’re happy to say that we’re now back on track for weekly new editions and emails, starting with MakeBetterThanEverLoveNotPorn.

What we’re doing is balancing starting to publish the large (whoopee!) backlog of exciting new submissions that have piled up while we couldn’t accept them, together with migrating all our existing videos over to the new service.

It will take a bit of time for us to do this, but we anticipate we should have all our content on the new service and, we hope, streaming trouble-free by the end of the month.

Fixing streaming means we can also now start to fix the endlessly aggravating glitches our long-suffering MLNPstars have encountered with uploading videos. We know how irritating those are, we can’t apologize enough, and we are going to fix that so that submitting is as smooth as streaming will be.

Through all of this, all of you have been amazing. We’re in this for the long haul, and we hope you’ll stick with us. We can’t wait to fix all our streaming/submission/system issues, and then get on with building all the really great additional features, functionality and user experience we want to be able to surprise and delight you with.

Thank you so much for bearing with us –

Cindy, Oonie, Corey, Sarah, Lar

Written by Elizabeta Povoledo for The New York Times.  Originally published November 5th, 2014.

“They had not planned on falling in love, but they did.

They did not want to become the objects of malicious gossip, but they are. They had not imagined living a life of furtive affections and secret rendezvous, but that is what has happened since the woman and the priest defied a Roman Catholic Church taboo and became romantically involved.

“Some people see me as a devil, something dirty,” said the woman, who, along with the priest she is involved with, agreed to discuss their situation, sitting for an interview at a hotel in a city far from his parish.

They asked to remain anonymous, fearing further disapproval from their parents, who know, and the disdain of friends and parishioners, who already suspect that their friendship is more than platonic.

“I risk losing everything if it were to come out into the open,” the priest said. Yet they agreed to speak, his partner said, “because suffering pushes you to do something, to try and change this injustice.”

Read more about the difficulties that Catholic priests and their lovers are dealing with to try to be able to have #realworldsex and #realworldlove here!  

By now, everyone and their mother has heard the controversy over portions of Lena Dunham’s new book Not That Kind of Girl in which she talks about her childhood exploration of her sister Grace’s vagina. Some people say that, since Lena’s sister is younger than her – Lena was 7 years old at the time – that Grace was the victim of sexual abuse. Some people think that Lena was acting inappropriately and somehow advocates for the sexualization of children. Some people say that it was wrong of Lena to write about this subject all.

Here at makelovenotporn.tv, we don’t agree with these naysayers. Instead, we thank Lena for opening a discussion about something that nobody has been talking about: how many #realworldgirls take part in some form of early bodily exploration that involves – gasp! – their vaginas. We think it is totally natural, healthy, and right for girls to figure out how healthy bodies look, feel, and act. We agree with bright, level-headed people like Kat George who, in her article 6 Totally Normal Things Young Girls Do When Discovering Their Sexuality says that, even though nobody ever talks about it, it is completely normal for little girls to discover their sexuality and #realworldbodies with each other.

That’s why we think it’s so important for children to be able to figure out crucial, basic things like human anatomy (yes, even the anatomy of vaginas) in an environment that’s open, safe, and completely free from judgment. In order for that to happen, adults have to be open to the kind of dialogues that Lena Dunham’s writing has inspired — the very same kinds of dialogue that little girls should be able to have every day without any embarrassment.

To get the ball rolling, the fabulous people over at thosekindsofgirls.tumblr.com  are publishing dozens of little, relatable, and completely normal stories about how “we all did weird sexual shit when we were kids”.  Here’s a few highlights– for more, be sure to check out the tumblr for yourself:

“When my friend and I were about seven we used to “play grownups” and kiss each other all over. One day she learned what gay meant (and she was catholic) and asked me if I knew what it meant. I said I did, it was when two boys or two girls loved each other. She was angry that I “knew what we were doing was gay and still made her do it” and she stopped talking to me. It hurt because I was worried I actually had pressured her into something. Looking back– I didn’t.”

“My sister and I would play doctor, but it was more like mad scientist. We would pretend we were tied up and “shock” each other with popsicle sticks on different parts of our bodies. I always made her put the “shock” on my vagina. I honestly have too many stories about exploration and curiosity with vaginas and penises to list here.”

Read more here.

MLNPstar Jean of AllenandtheJean, addresses her early childhood bodily exploration here.

What did your early bodily exploration look like? Feel free to let us know in the comments or by submitting to Those Kinds of Girls!

Written by Kat George for Bustle.  Originally published November 4th, 2014.

“This week it came to light that when Lena Dunham was 7 years old, she looked at her little sister’s vagina, and an alarming number of people dubbed her a “child molester.” She also did other things critics find offensive, like masturbate next to her sleeping sister and bribe her sister for affection (although the latter doesn’t seem to be as much of a point of contention). I’m shaking my head in disbelief as I write because I can’t believe that such innocuous things have become the subject of so much vitriol. If I had a penny for all of the sexual organs I looked at as a child, I’d be rich. OK, maybe I’d only have an extra ten or so dollars, but you know what I mean. Children are naturally inquisitive. They are fascinated by the weird things they begin discovering on their bodies. Children often do not identify these things sexually, or have a sexual intent when exploring themselves and others. The intense and hateful puritanism that Lena Dunham has become victim of simply because she was curious about vaginas, and as an innocent child, no less, is disgusting. In truth, Lena wasn’t inappropriately sexualizing her sister – the public is doing so, with their pearl-clutching outcry about her accounts of what happened.

It’s all part of a wider Vagina Panic™ endemic in our society. How dare a woman seek bodily awareness? How dare a little girl have any sort of biological curiosity whatsoever? Sexuality is an impropriety! Meanwhile, I would be willing to wager that if a male writer had told a comically nostalgic story about how he and his brother compared penis size when they were little kids, everyone would chuckle heartily and pat him on the back for being so adorable. What a silly little boy child just trying to figure things out in this crazy old world! Even when it comes to being a teen masturbating in the same room as someone else, boys are given a free pass. I’ve heard many a tale of straight, high school boys all masturbating at once to see who would last the longest or cum the most. I’ve heard many stories from teenage boys of having sex while their friend was asleep nearby in the room. No one thinks that’s weird. But girls are, of course, not afforded the same liberty, because girls who want to know how their bodies work are obviously filthy little molesting sluts who ought to be publicly shamed and sent back to the kitchen to bake cake.

I did a lot of weird things when I was trying to figure out what my vagina was, and what the strange tickle feeling that began happening between my legs meant. I went through puberty at 10 years old, and it’s important to remember that for a lot of girls, puberty happens before you’re ready for it, and before anyone has even bothered to tell them anything about the way their body works. And when it’s happening to you, you want to know about it, and you’re well within your rights to seek ANSWERS, damn it. There’s nothing malicious, creepy, or predatory about sexual discovery. So here are 6 things little girls do when they’re discovering their sexuality that no one talks about (but probably should). . .”

Read more about how kids learn about #realworldsex here!  We love this article because, like we’ve said before, we are all for bodily exploration, especially that which involves– gasp!– vaginas.

Written Jenna Wortham for Matter, with illustrations by Wesley Allsbrook, Trenton Duerksen, Lisa Hanawalt, Melody Newcomb, Pat Perry, Jonny Russo, Sam Vanallemeersch, and Roxie Vizcarr

“I sent my very first sext at the age of 15. Maybe I was 13. I was up late, talking to strangers in an AOL chatroom, when someone asked me to upload my photo. I can remember hesitating for a few moments, then obliging, my heart galloping along. I arranged myself on the thick carpet in my bedroom, took a photo with my Web cam, and sent it. Why? Why not? I was clothed, but it was definitely meant to be provocative, flirtatious. I couldn’t fathom any repercussions to my behavior, not at that moment, not at that age. And nothing bad happened, not really. People made comments of the variety you’d expect, some nice, some not so nice, and then the conversation trotted along.

Last weekend, my baby niece — who is now 17 — told me that at her high school, trading sexy photos is as common as trading Instagram handles. She doesn’t participate in the exchanges, she says, because these days, everything is forever. She lives in a different era. My photo mostly went away, but hers wouldn’t evaporate so easily.

I’ve long been interested in how technology mediates desire and the way that our phones, an extension of ourselves, foster intimate interactions that feel so personal and deep, despite being relayed through a machine. Oceans of emotion can be transmitted through a text message, an emoji sequence, and a winking semicolon, but humans are hardwired to respond to visuals.

This project came to life after the celebrity hacks of 2014 and the condescending aftermath of advice toward women that lectured them — us — about taking photos of our bodies, nude or even scantily clad in bikinis or in a dressing room. We were told that we only had ourselves to blame for expressing sexuality through our devices, and that we couldn’t expect the companies that sell us these machines and services to protect us if we behaved in a way deemed inappropriate. People weren’t (yet) telling these companies that they needed to work on their security protocols, so that the people using their devices and services would feel safe, or even that our safety was important. It enraged me. It still does.

I think that everybody sexts. Not everyone sends nude photos, of course, for a variety of reasons. But many people I’ve talked to define a sext as anything sent with sexual intent, be it a suggestive Gchat exchange, a racy photo, a suggestive Snapchat, or even those aqua-blue droplets of sweat emoji.”

Read more about (and see many steamy examples of) #realworldsexting here!  We love this article because everyone sexts, and it’s great to be able to see such a beautiful comparison of all the different ways it can play out.

Written by Kat George for Bustle.  Originally published November 7th, 2014.

“Having sex in the shower is hard (*wink*). The idea of it is hot as hell, but the expectation vs. the reality are often two completely different things. In your mind, you’ll be showering in full makeup, mascara completely un-smudged, standing so your back is arched perfectly and subtly to reveal a pert apple of a butt. You partner enters, his abs glistening slightly from the steam in the room. He joins you in the shower and slides easily into you from behind, and the water beats down on you but not enough that it goes in your eyes and makes you look squinty like you’d got temporary pink eye. This is the dream. This is not, in fact, what shower sex ever turns out to be.

The reality is you’re slipping and sliding around the place like an oily whale, trying to reconcile the discrepancy in height between you and your partner by ungracefully bending over and taking in so many lungfuls of water you think you might drown, and how the hell are the police going to explain to your mother that you died trying to get laid in the shower? Add to that: small showers, dirty showers, cold showers, showers with low water pressure, showers with high water pressure etc. etc. and you’ll find that sexy shower time is something you really have to WORK for. The first step is letting go of the idea that James Bond is going to appear from no where to fuck you like you’re in a romance novel.

All that being said, sex in the shower can be fun. It can be sexy, and it can be extremely rewarding. (And to be honest, I was really exaggerating the possibility of death anyway.) Here are 9 pieces of advice from me, who has successfully had sex in the shower in maybe 3 out of 5 attempts (which is a solid ratio in my mind), about how you can have sex in the shower with the least amount of risk and the most amount of dignity:

1. DON’T WORRY ABOUT GETTING WET (BA-DOOM CHHH! PUN INTENDED)

To read the rest of these steamy (pun intended) tips, check out the rest of the list here! We love this piece because #realworldsex is sometimes awkward or messy but always definitely still worth it!

Wanna see some shower-centric action? Check out these videos from MLNPstars Annie Ochs and Thelma Sleaze!

Written by Priscilla Frank for The Huffington Post.  Originally published November 24th, 2014.

“Marna Clarke is a photographer. She takes pictures of herself, mostly, and her partner Igor — some around the house and others at the beach. What makes these photographs radical to some, however, is that Marna is 74 years old.

“This project began simply when I turned 70, four years ago, and began to think of myself as getting old,” Clarke explained to The Huffington Post. “I wanted to see what ‘old’ looked like on me, so I started taking pictures of my naked body: feet, hands, torso, arms, legs, face, hair. I needed to hold pictures in my hands, not just look in the mirror for a temporary glimpse.”

Clarke’s photographs operate as quiet yet powerful rebellions against mainstream culture, a culture that writes off elderly bodies as irrelevant and unworthy. The photographer snaps simple and raw portraits of herself stripped down to her bare skin, the same skin she’s worn for years. And the results are absolutely beautiful.

“I dug up the courage to show this work to a very select group of people whom I thought would appreciate it. I received encouragement along with some complete confusion and bafflement. Not everyone is ready to look at naked bodies, much less old ones. I was wandering into some of our cultural taboos, namely the aging, their naked old bodies and death.””

To see more of Marna’s beautiful self-photography, and to read more of her story, check out the rest of the article here.

Written by Lucy Animus for Elephant Journal.  Originally published November 16th, 2014.

“I’ll be honest: I’ve probably initiated sex seven times in my entire life, and at least three of those times, it wasn’t really me. It was the tequila.

Desperate boyfriends have made the mistake of asking why.

Men, I’m all for communication. Really, truly I am. Especially if the conversation can happen over a warm dinner between limber minds. That’s better than when heads are on pillows, and hearts are soft and open, unprepared for a question that carries the weight of insecurities not yet understood.

That being said, I totally understand why you might ask such a question in bed; maybe she’s turned you down two nights in a row, and as you’re gathering the courage to initiate again, it suddenly pisses you off a little that this whole thing is seemingly all up to you.

I get it, I really do.

But before you go there, it might help if you read this:

1) It’s common knowledge; the female body needs a bit of tender loving care to fully unfurl.

And tender loving care often also translates to tiiiime. That’s right. It often takes an investment of time (i.e. more than 42 seconds) before she’s even ready for the whole body to body thing. Sigh.

When I did attempt to initiate sex, my partner (in shock and excitement, probably), often became so enthusiastic, it’s like his attention became completely transfixed on sex organs, bypassing any subtle, slow intimacy I was attempting. Within seconds he was in the driver’s seat again and driving way too fast.

Men often wrongly assume that if a woman initiates sex, she is somehow ready for the actual act of sex. Wrong. She’s ready for whatever she’s currently doing.

Meet her where she is, not where you desperately hope she’s going.

2) I assumed that if he hadn’t already made a move, he wasn’t in the mood.

And, as normal (and even expected) as it seems for a guy to gingerly rest hands and lips on tender places, it’s actually a very, very courageous act, one that comes with the risk of being rejected at your most vulnerable. And though women are often credited with being the gender more willing to embrace vulnerability, there are certain instances where this just isn’t true.

If she thinks you’re not in the mood, rather than risk rejection, she might opt out altogether.

Here’s where I use the F-word. Feminism. There’s one reason it exists: Globally, women aren’t allowed the same freedoms as men. Women are heard less, paid less and victimized more. As a result, females second-guess themselves more often than men, and generally feel less confident in their own decisions and opinions. This is also true in bed. If she wants it but she’s not sure you do she’s less likely to make a move.

So, hold off on the snoring, make eye contact and give her a tiny reason to believe you’re up for it (without actually making the move yourself)…”

To read the other 4 extremely valid reasons, check out the rest of the article here.

Written by Lynsey G for LynseyG.com.  Originally published November 25th, 2014.

“Here are some more of the sweetest, juiciest cuts from my interviews for Bitch Magazine‘s Love/Lust issue! Today, my talk with the MakeLoveNotPorn.tv team as a whole. Cindy Gallop (Founder & CEO), Sarah Beall (Madam Curator), Oonie Chase (Experience Goddess). We strayed a bit from the topic of financing, but I mean… come on. This is crazy-interesting stuff! We talked about validation through real-world sex, the new vocabulary of sex they’re giving the world, and decison-making while aroused.

The MakeLoveNotPorn.tv team. (Image from MakeLoveNotPorn.tv)

Sarah Beall: What we’re doing isn’t “niche” and it isn’t meant to be “niche.” Because sexuality is such a huge part of the human experience. We’re open to anybody who wants to see real-world sex online, and real-world sex that has been vetted to make sure that it’s consensual and free of subconscious porn cliches as possible.

[We see] a really positive evolution [in MakeLoveNotPorn performers]. Evolutions that are unique to each of our MakeLoveNotPornStars. It’s great because you can see the site building people’s confidence…There’s [one couple] who—the woman is absolutely gorgeous, but she doesn’t have a conventionally attractive body type. She and her fiancé are madly in love and have great sex. And they already have a presence on Tumblr and Twitter, talking about sex. And the first few videos that they sent us were shot on a laptop camera, they didn’t show their faces. But after they got their first payout, to my delight, they went out and bought an HD camera. And they now show everything. And they also wrote this great blog post about how they spent their money. They bought the camera, they donated some to charity, they put some back into the site.

It’s interesting to see the community that we’re fostering and the conversations that we have… It’s really exciting to people to actually make money on their real world sex. And I think it’s incredibly validating. So yeah, there are a lot of different evolutions like that, like people who used to light their videos really dark, because they weren’t interested in having their identities revealed, but who have sort of developed so that they can now show more. It’s really exciting.

…

For eight months, I worked as a scriptwriter for a very mainstream porn company.  I actually thought it might be kind of hilarious to work in mainstream porn…Porn is so niche these days. It seems to take something that was once hot, that people once thought was really “Ooooh,” and boil it down to this one thing and just repeat it over and over and over again. I would write the sex…It was always sort of the same things, like, if it’s a teen site, all of the teens love big cocks. So the first thing she has to do is pull down his pants and marvel at how big his cock, and then proceed to try to give him a blowjob. It was very much based around body parts, stereotypes. And it wasn’t like they were hiding it. The idea that people are actually looking at something like that, and thinking that it’s real sex… I think that porn performers are probably the first people to know that most of what happens in mainstream porn is totally constructed.

…

Oonie Chase: All the stuff that I’m doing [on the MakeLoveNotPorn site] is the same as anything else. When you go online to apply for a credit card, how do you make that experience as frictionless and pleasurable as possible? It’s the same basic idea, and I think in this space, what maybe makes use unique is that we’re trying to be courteous. We’re trying to not assault you, because you should be in a good place.

I remember when we brainstormed about payment mechanisms, [our collaborator] had just finished up a study or something looking at people’s decision-making process when they were aroused, and the quality of those decisions. And not surprisingly, the quality of your decisions just goes through the floor the more aroused you are. And I kind of wonder whether or not, for most mostly men who are looking at stuff like that, whether that kind of stuff does arouse their brain to some extent. So maybe that stuff does work. But I’ve talked to lots of guys—it’s not a sample set by any means—who have the blues after watching porn. They have that sort of hangover.

Well we’re trying to get out of the way of the content. That’s heading the show. And have everything else be normalized, have everything else be something you can imagine experiencing in the App Store, with just a little bit more sass and voice.

And also I think the tone of voice that we use, which is a little bit saucy and geeky and cheeky, is something to make people feel comfortable. Not using the language of porn, not talking about banging, any of that stuff. I think of the words that we use, the marquee tags, kind of like lifesavers. Like they’re really sweet and yummy, and like little candies. Not like, “BANGING! SUCKING ASSHOLES!”

Cindy Gallop: Because we don’t talk about sex, we have no socially acceptable language of sex. And the language of porn has rushed in to fill that gap. And the language of porn is predominantly generated by men, because the industry is dominated by men, and so the person who invented the term “fingerblasting” didn’t have a vagina. Because when I hear the word “fingerblasting,” I cross my legs. Whoever coined the term, “Getting your ass railed,” never had his ass railed. I mean, I wince when I hear the term “anal pounding.”

And so we’re creating, as Oonie says, a new vocabulary that you can take beyond the site and able to use themselves, because people are lost… Part of what people find difficult when you’re in bed with someone and what you’re actually doing with them at that moment. You don’t really know what words to use because they don’t come naturally… If you seize the language of porn because there’s nothing else, it’s really hard to combat with your own vocabulary because you have none. And so we would love to see people take “wowzers, succulent, juicy, downtown,” out into their real world sex lives and the real world sex conversation.

Sarah Beall: We made a word for a guy who isn’t quite fully erect yet, but who is still awesome in the extreme, which was “Soft serve.”

Cindy Gallop: OH MY GOD YES!

To read Lynsey G’s thoughts on feminism, interviews with burlesque stars, or simply her everyday musings, check out her awesome blog here.

Written by Jodie Gummow for AlterNet. Originally published October 25th, 2014.

“The elusive female orgasm has been the subject of much scientific debate over the last century. Some researchers have argued that women can have two types of orgasms through external clitoral stimulation and vaginal penetration, while others believe both orgasms are the same type accessed through different parts of the female anatomy.

In a bid to settle the dispute once and for all, a recent study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine claims to have solved this age-old scientific mystery, revealing that there are indeed two types of female orgasms…well, kind of.

Two French gynecologists carried out ultrasound scans on three “healthy volunteers” by measuring variations in their blood flow patterns to decipher just how their sexual organs moved during different types of sex.

These women were asked to arouse themselves through manual self-stimulation of the external clitoris and through vaginal penetration using a wet tampon. Say what? Both examinations measured the changes in blood flow patterns in the area to ascertain just how the clitoris and vaginal complex responded.

The outcome? The study discovered there is a “functional difference” in orgasms depending on the type of sexual contact. Specifically, researchers found that only the top of the clitoris responds to external stimulation, while during vaginal penetration both the “root” of the clitoris and the whole clitoral and vaginal complex respond. This affected the flow of blood and therefore produced different sensations in the body.”

To learn more about both kinds of clitoral orgasms, check out the rest of the article here! 

Written by Lynsey G for LynseyG.com. Originally published November 24th, 2014.

“Here I present you with some of the most succulent slices from an interview I did with Cindy Gallop of MakeLoveNotPorn.tv for my article “Blowing the Budget” in Bitch Magazine‘s Love/Lust issue. We were talking about the numerous, gigantic obstacles that she and her team have faced in trying to get their company funded and set up to make and receive payments… it’s been quite a journey for them, and one that Cindy is not at all afraid to share.

“It took me two years to get MakeLoveNotPorn.tv funded, and that’s enormously ironic, because in theory, I should have been every venture capitalist in Silicon Valley’s wet dream, literally.

“We have an idea, enabled by technology, that is designed to disrupt a sector worth billions of dollars, in a way that is both socially beneficial and potentially very lucrative. I mean that hits off everything that every investor in the tech world is looking to hit off. But because that sector is porn and the social benefit is for sexuality, no VC would come near it.

“So it took me two years of pitching to finally find one angel investor who got it, put up the small amount of seed funding we needed to build a platform and launch it…Then I literally could not get my hands on the money for two months because I couldn’t find a single bank here in America that would allow us to open a business banking account for a business that has the word ‘porn’ in its name, even though our name, by the way, is MakeLoveNotPorn… We can’t find a bank anywhere in the world that wants my business.

“Our single biggest operational challenge has been putting our payment structure in place. Because we’re adult content, PayPal won’t work with us, Amazon won’t work with us, none of the mainstream credit card processors will, as well.

“I am battling publicly for the right to do business on the same terms and conditions as everybody else…I am very, very public about all of this. I talk about this at every speaking opportunity I get. I call it out. So that whenever I’m talking at a tech conference, I say to the audience, ‘Here in the tech world, we pride ourselves on the open internet, freedom of access to everything, inventing the future… Tech world, I call bullshit. Until you change your mindset about ventures designed to change the world through sex, all you’re doing is you’re perpetuating the same old world order closed-mindedness you pride yourselves on exploding.’”

Read more of Cindy’s thoughts on the search to find a workable way to finance MLNP’s #realworldsex here.

Written by Hannah Osborne for International Business Times.  Originally published November 30th, 2014.

“A steamy selfie campaign has been launched to help eliminate the stigma surrounding HIV.

The campaign, #weareALLclean, encourages men to take pictures of themselves in the shower.

It was launched by Jack Mackenroth, an American swimmer, model and fashion designer who was the first openly HIV-positive contestant on US reality show Project Runway.

Money raised from the campaign will go to HIV/Aids nonprofits amfAR and Housing Works. The target is $1,000,000 (£640,000, €804,000).

Mackenroth partnered with Moovz – one of the world’s leading gay social apps – to launch the campaign. It was launched ahead of World Aids Day, which is held on 1 December.

“I was inspired by the use of the word ‘clean’, especially common in gay culture, to describe oneself as STI/STD free. This implies that HIV-positive people are somehow ‘dirty'”, Mackenroth said.

“I thought a PG or PG-13 shower selfie or video would be a fun way that everyone could easily show their support on social media for finding a cure by using the hashtag #weareALLclean when they post their photo with the link. Then they donate what they can and nominate three or more other people to participate.”

To see  steamy, soapey, non-explicit pictures of showery people, and maybe even to submit your own, check out the rest of the post here! We love how Mackenroth is trying to destigmatize the idea of having HIV/AIDs, and think it’s so important to reiterate that anyone, regardless of their health, is clean.

Written by Amy Odell for Cosmopolitan.  Originally published November 29th, 2014.

“Gabriela Hasbun is a commercial and editorial photographer based in San Francisco. Her latest personal project, “Transgender,” is a beautiful portrayal of transgender families.

She writes: My next project is a celebration of transgender families, in all their diverse shapes and forms. I’d love to highlight families who started from scratch with transgender members, and those that have shown how to stick together as gender-variant identities are realized and affirmed.

I know there is so much more to do for transgender equity, especially for those still most marginalized. Nevertheless, I also know we are in an important phase in American history as gender non-conforming people, their experiences, and their voices are finding greater audience in mainstream society, particularly as part of loving families.”

See more of the beautiful images in this series here.

Well, 2014 was quite the year.

It was a great year, in that we welcomed many more of you wonderful members and MakeLoveNotPornstars into our community.

It was a difficult year, because for that encouraging reason – ongoing membership growth – discouraging things happened, in the form of technical glitches and problems streaming videos for many of you.  Those same problems carried over into our video submissions process, which meant equally frustrating times for our MakeLoveNotPornstars just trying to upload their videos.

As a tiny, bootstrapping, team, we unfortunately don’t have the kind of resources better-funded sites do to be able to solve these sorts of issues quickly. In August the wonderful Lar joined our team as dedicated developer to fix our issues, and at last – five months later, because there’s only one of him – we’re delighted to be able to say, Happy New Year, because it really is.

Happy new trouble-free streaming service now fully in place!

Our number one priority has been for you to be able to stream our videos with no issues. We have now migrated all our content over to the new service Lar built and we hope very much from here on in there will be no more problems – so you can now rent with confidence. And there’ll be no more of those pesky broken stills which had been plaguing our not-yet-migrated videos – now you can preview our MakeLoveNotPornstars in their full glory!

Happy new trouble-free submissions process coming soon!

Our number two priority is to fix our submissions process so that our fabulous MLNPornstars – whose number increases each week! – can upload without aggravation.  Lar will be working on that in the coming weeks as a matter of urgency.

Separate to that, there are other things that make us happy.

We’re happy that all of you have been so amazingly patient and supportive through all our technical issues. We cannot believe how lucky we are to have such a wonderful community.

We’re happy so many of you write to us every day to express your appreciation of what we’re doing.

We’re happy our flow of #realworldsex submissions is steadily increasing week by week.

We’re happy our flow of #realworldsex submissions is steadily getting more diverse – across gender, age, race, nationality, sexual tastes.

We’re happy that our mission to change the way the world has sex for the better is working.  As per the 23-year-old man who wrote to us to say:

“Great site. It’s what I was looking for for a long time. I find the website awesome, It shows real women and it celebrates sex and intimacy. Your site makes me want to have sex in a grown up, honest and respectful way.”

For 2015 our priorities are, in order: to fix streaming and submissions; bring in the monthly/annual subscription model many of you have asked for; and build the features we have in the pipeline (improved search, bookmarking, social sharing, rating, commenting, MLNPstar following, recommendations etc etc) that will give all of you a better and better experience.  While growing and changing the way the world has sex for the better.

Thank you for joining us on this journey to celebrate and share #realworldsex, and let’s MakeGrowingTogetherLoveNotPorn in 2015!

Cindy, Oonie, Corey, Lar, Sarah, Ariel, Alex, Zoe

Written by Piph of Hey Epiphora.  Originally published January 10th, 2015.

“So I was interviewed for a piece about female ejaculation/squirting for Fusion recently. The article finally went live, and lo and behold, I’m not mentioned at all because some new bullshit study came out that had to trump everything.

I don’t want to go into the study too much, but I will say that its findings go against several other studies which have previously shown that ejaculate contains zero or low levels of urea and creatinine. Its findings also go against several thousand million vagina-owners, including myself, who have reported that the stuff they ejaculate does not look, smell, or taste like pee. Also, WHO FUCKING CARES what the chemical make-up of the ejaculate is?! Are we trying to “prove” it’s pee so we can keep shaming people for doing it? Cool story, researchers.

Missing from many reports of this study, including the article I was interviewed for, is first-hand information from people who actually squirt — not porn stars who fake it or scientists armed with ultrasound machines. Therefore, I have enacted a hashtag, #notpee, where I’m encouraging folks to share their experiences of ejaculation…

I often find myself holding my breath when I’m about to squirt. The moment of squirting feels overwhelming; I can feel the ejaculate rushing out of me, sometimes splashing my legs or seeping into the towel beneath me. It’s completely different from clitoral stimulation or a clitoral orgasm — not better, just different. It’s more amorphous, with no definite start or end to the orgasmic feeling. If I keep thrusting, I can prolong it — but at some point, my arm gets tired.

But does it feel like peeing the bed? No, because it isn’t. Several studies have shown that the fluid contains very little urine, and in fact contains some markers similar to those found in prostatic fluid (produced by the prostate). Some sex educators say that it’s not actually possible to pee when aroused, and we know this to be true at least for people with penises. So it’s all psychological. If you believe the fluid is pee, it may “feel” like peeing the bed. But it shouldn’t, because it’s not pee.”

Read the rest here.

Agree that female ejaculation (which, btw, was banned in British porn) is most definitely #notpee? Check out the rest of Piph’s piece here and then comment below with your thoughts! Or, if you’re feeling frisky, maybe even submit your own #realworldsex video with some super hot squirting…or as we like to say, gushing.

Written by Janet Allon for Everyday Feminism.  Originally published September 20th, 2014.

“Not so long ago, my son went into some detail about how he was going to deflower his girlfriend and what kind of condom he would use. I did not need to hear that. He did so in front of my (relatively new) boyfriend, who was fairly dumbfounded and, I suspect, did not need to hear it either.

If you want to achieve the same kind of open and occasionally cringe-inducing dialogue I have with my spawn, here are my tips for how to talk to your kids about sex.

1. Often

It’s not just one big talk; it’s an ongoing series of conversations. Don’t wait for the perfect moment. There is no perfect moment.

Also, it’s too big of a topic to cover in one conversation. Too much pressure on everyone. Normalize it. Bring it up. Take any and all questions, frequently.

2. Way Before They — Or You — Are Ready

Don’t wait too long. They’re already talking to their friends and getting some weird combo of information and misinformation.

Don’t dread it. Don’t make it an “it.” Even if they put their hands over their ears the first couple of times you bring up the topic of sex, believe me, they’re interested and they are listening.”

To read the other 6 hilarious and too, too real items on Janet’s list, check out the rest of her piece here. 

Written by Daniel Bergner for The New York Times.  Originally published January 22nd, 2015.

“In one of her early sessions with the patient, Bat Sheva Marcus, an Orthodox Jewish sex counselor, drew up a list. The patient, who was in her 20s, wore the uniform of her rigidly devout sect: a dark suit with a shapeless skirt reaching well below the knee, dark stockings, a plain blouse buttoned up to the neck and both a wig and a crocheted hat covering her head. She had come to Marcus’s offices in Midtown Manhattan from a cloistered community in Borough Park, Brooklyn, because she had been recoiling from sex with her husband. There was pain, and, more problematic for Marcus, there was no desire. The pain, Marcus and her staff deduced right away, was a result of muscle constrictions stemming from childbirth; this could be treated effectively with dilators — and without objection from the patient’s rabbi. But the deeper aversion was more complex. Talking with the woman at a round table in a room decorated with still lives of pears and berries, Marcus wrote a list of ways that the patient and her husband could make sex, for her, more appealing.

The suggestions ranged from the seemingly modest to the more direct, from reading romance novels to kissing with the lights on to wearing a lacy nightgown to his touching her clitoris to the use of a vibrator. The woman would take the list home to her husband, and he would take it to their rabbi, who would rule, one by one, on whether these interventions were allowed.

“She’d just found out what and where her clitoris is, after her third child,” Marcus said. “She’d told her OB-GYN that she was having pain,” and during their conversation he informed her about her anatomy. Merely having this basic knowledge put her ahead of plenty of Marcus’s Orthodox patients, who tend to be from the Satmar sect, one of the most strictly observant groups within Hasidic Judaism. Their circumscribed upbringings, in sections of Brooklyn or in Monsey, N.Y., a hamlet north of New York City, have been utterly insular, their worlds devoid of secular books, let alone television and the Internet. About sexuality, their minds have been kept free of information and infused with fear. “They have zero — zero — connection to pleasure,” Marcus said. “And there’s no vocabulary to start with them. We have an intake form to fill out, and they get to ‘orgasm’ and go to the receptionist and ask, ‘What is this?’ ” When Marcus begins to explore whether they’ve ever been aroused, they have no understanding of the concept.”

Read more about Bat Sheva Marcus and how she’s helping orthodox women begin to enjoy sex here.

Produced by Kristen Meinzer for The Takeaway. Originally published February 13th, 2015.

“Cindy Gallop is the creator of the website “Make Love Not Porn” and the author of “Make Love, Not Porn: Technology’s Hardcore Impact on Human Behavior.” She says the film and book have changed our conversations and perceptions about sex in America. But she argues that “Fifty Shades of Grey” also gets a lot wrong.

“I’m very conflicted about ‘Fifty Shades of Grey,’” says Gallop. “There are three reasons I hate it and there are three reasons I love it.”

Gallop says she hates “Fifty Shades of Grey”—both the book and the film—because the novel was badly written and the movie was not particularly riveting. Additionally, she views the franchise as an overdone “Cinderella” story—only this time the prince and princess don leather and chains. Finally, she says the work of fiction also has “all the hallmarks of a thoroughly abusive relationship.”

“The reasons I love it, first it de-kinkifies sex that many more people would be thoroughly enjoying if society hadn’t told them, ‘It’s kinky, you can’t do that,’” she says. “It has obviously galvanized, and the movie will galvanize, a number of relationships and marriages. The third reason I love it is that it socializes sex—it brings it out in the open and it makes it socially acceptable and shareable. Those are three very good things.”

To read more about Cindy’s opinion of “50 Shades of Grey”, check out the rest of the article and listen to the interview here.

Written by Lux Alptraum for The Verge.  Originally published March 2nd, 2015

“For over half a decade, I have devoted my life to tracking and analyzing virtually everything that could be considered sexy. As editor, and then publisher, of Fleshbot.com, I watched as the industry swelled with the promise of the internet, liberated as consumers were finally free to directly connect with the smut of their choice — and then began to collapse as the internet transformed into a playground for porn piracy, where consumers could easily download whatever fantasies they desired without having to spend a single cent.

One of the biggest tells of the state of the industry has long been the annual Adult Entertainment Expo and AVN Awards, an event which became smaller and sadder every time that I went, until I finally skipped it this year because you can only watch an industry collapse for so long before it starts to feel depressing. But a month and a half after playing hookie from the Oscars of the adult industry, I was presented with another chance to assess the state of the industry, or at least of sex on film, as New York played host to not one, but two, erotic film festivals over the course of the same weekend.

On Saturday morning I swing by the apartment of Cindy Gallop, the ad exec turned sex tech mogul behind MakeLoveNotPorn.TV. Cindy and her site were featured during the Friday programming block of NYC Porn Film Festival, and I’m curious to hear about her experience before I see it for myself. She speaks glowingly of the festival: the crowd was positive, the room was packed, everyone really got what she was doing. “There’s something enormously validating about sitting in a real world audience who is watching a sampler of the kind of thing you do and responding so brilliantly,” she tells me.

The next day I return to NYCPFF and am impressed to see that, despite the snow that’s blanketing the city, the crowd is still standing room only. I ask a few attendees what’s inspired them to take part in the festivities. Scarlet Fox Letterpress founder Meena Ziabari tells me she was drawn to the festival “because it’s celebrating human sexuality, and not afraid of turning people on. It seems like there’s substance, and they’re making statements … It seems really thoughtful, which you’d think would be difficult to achieve.”

When I talked to Cindy Gallop, she’d told me that she wholeheartedly believes that people will always pay for “individual creative vision” — the same kind of creative vision that’s made Ziabari and her friends to brave the elements to watch indie sex cinema in a Brooklyn art space. As I watch the Bushwick crowd applaud the offbeat celebrations of sexuality screening that day, I start to think that Gallop might be onto something.

I don’t know if CineKink or NYC Porn Film Festival are the “future” of porn, or if either really has a lock on what kind of sex films people want to see. But after this weekend, I do know that there is a future for sex-themed media, and for an industry that’s long felt like it was dying, that may be enough for now.”

 Check out the rest of Alptraum’s thoughts on CineKink and the NYC PFF here.

Hey there! I’m MLNP.tv intern Alexandra, and I think it’s about time I introduced myself. I’m a 22 year old student and certified sex nerd (and when I say “certified” I mean my friends now deem me the “sexpert” of the group, which I think is pretty awesome). My enthusiasm for sex-positivity is driving me to one day find myself in a career in sexuality, hopefully in some capacity of sex education. I first heard about MakeLoveNotPorn when I was listening to an episode of the radio show Audio Smut, where Madam Curator was being interviewed and put a call out for interns in the Montreal area. I was lucky enough to be welcomed to the team in spring of 2014, and I’m so grateful to be a part of such an incredible project! As one of Madam Curator’s interns, my main role is running MLNP’s Tumblr & Instagram accounts, as well as some outreach and administrative odds and ends. I can’t wait to see what the coming months have in store for the MLNP community!

Twitter: @alextfriedman
E-mail: alex@makelovenotporn.com